For months I’ve been trying to find something worthwhile to write about. I’ve sat down and tried to force something… nada. I’ve asked good ol’ Jesus to give me something… nada. I’ve thought about blogging certain events with friends… oops no pics! But FINALLY the day has come where I’ve deemed something interesting enough to write about…

My grocery store visit today.

Ahh Good ol’ Shaws, oh how you love to rip-off consumers. You can keep your $6 boxes of cereal, and $10 bags of 2 oz frozen chicken. Seriously, ridic… Anywho, I have to start off by saying how much I hate loly-gagging in the grocery store. I love to grocery shop, and I love food. But PUH-LEASE people don’t get in the way of my cart. I want to get in, and get out.

And so the story begins as quite the normal store visit. I walked in through the door on the left side, because to this day I still do not understand why Shaws’ automatic doors are on the wrong side. We are not in England, we are in America Shaws! For realz. Anywho, I got my cart from a cute little old lady, and proceeded to walk towards the fruit and veggie section. Everything seemed to go as usual. I looked at all the tomatoes… Do I want cherry tomatoes, or Roma tomatoes? I decided on cherry tomatoes. Then, I walked over to the spinach section. After picking up my little bag of spinach for the rip-off price of $5.99, I decided I wanted the roma tomoatoes instead of the cherry. So, I walked back over… Still, everything seemed to be going as usual.

I have to say, I’ve picked up on a trend while grocery shopping. The closer you get to the freezer aisle, the more awkward encounters you have. As I began to walk towards the cereal aisle I came upon a woman with 4 children. I began to get annoyed with this lady screaming at her 4 wild kids. They were grabbing chocolate milk off the shelves and running around. Instead of actually discipling her children, she just screamed while walking AWAY from them, so half the store could hear her. Not only does the screaming & lack of discipline annoy me, but the food selections for her children. Soda, french fries, potato chips, ice cream, and the other countless unhealthy foods that she was about to feed her children, spilled from her cart. This lady began to seriously annoy me. I have to admit I did make slight judgments about this woman, and decided that I should probably repent from them. And Especially about the judgments I made of her reaching for the fruity-dinobytes for her kids… not only did I grab fruity-dinobytes, I also was purchasing Choco-dynobytes for my hubby. Ohhh snap!

So, I moved on to the next aisle. All I wanted was ONE can of black beans. Just one. It would only take me less than a second to grab that can… with out the guy standing directly in the middle of the aisle reading. So I snuck up and moved my cart to the side. Couldn’t get by him… then, I try the other side. Still couldn’t get by him. I say, “Excuse me Sir” THIS MAN STILL DOES NOT MOVE. Really? REALLY? Is this guy for real? Finally I inch my way by him, with the side of my cart sliding against his butt. AND I just have to say, this man still does not move. And like my previous estimate, I was correct. It took me .5 seconds to grab my black beans and walk towards the dairy aisle…

As I am walking I see a rather large woman in the distance. I get closer and realize that this woman has not always been a woman… she is now a man. Adams apple, 5 o’clock shadow, wig, heels and all. I think anyone and everyone in that store who passed by this woman… or man(?) could tell that he, had turned into a she. Oh wait, I lied, one man did not realize this. As I am walking past this he/she, I hear this old man dancing while walking with his cart and singing old Frank Sinatra songs. Suddenly I hear the singing stop. He begins talking in a very loud voice and asks the transvtite when her baby was due. At this point I am just thinking, Oh my word this is not really happening? It’s bad enough to ask a woman who is not really pregnant when she is due, but a large man/woman!

So, I proceed to get my yummy soy milk. The singing begins again. It’s getting closer, and louder. I stop. This man gets down on one knee to start sarenading me with Frank Sinatra. He asks, “Do you like the song?” I say, It’s beautiful!” I mean, what was I supposed to say? No? I could not crush this older mans heart who just asked if a transvestite was prego and say I did not like his song. He then, gets up off his knee, kisses my cheek, takes my hand, kisses it and says, “OH, YOU ARE MARRIED! I was married once, but I would always tell my wife she was quite religious because she would never have sex with me!” Everyone in the aisle turns to look as this man, still holding my hand. He goes on to sing and dance around me. He stops again and begins to ask me questions about my life and talks about his family… and wife again. I really did not want all this info. After what seems like hours, (quite the exaggeration, but seriously it felt like foreverrrr) I find an escape and bolt away.

At this point I’ve had enough. I am done with Shaws. I am done with grocery shopping. I do not care if I don’t have all my items. Please cash me out, yes I’ll take plastic, and I’m out of there.

But not before getting stuck behind the wild children and screaming mother. I am now right behind them, and cannot seem to get around these children. They keep stopping, the mother keeps screaming, and I am not exaggerating when I say it took me a good 10 minutes to get to the checkout aisle.

Finally, I get there. I am on the home stretch!! I am PUMPED!! I go to slide my debit card… and text my hubby saying, I’ve just had the most bizarre experience at the grocery store. And that I am still in shock. Then it happens…The singing begins. I hear the same man 3 check-out aisles away start to yell to me. Miss, miss! Hello there again! It took all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing. But I just simply said, Have a great day and got out of that store as fast as I could.

Just had to share my little story with y’all! And considering the last time I was at Shaws I witnessed a drug bust… Needless to say, It may be awhile before I enter that place again. Hope everyone is having a great day!

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Okay, for realz… this girl is amazing.

Everyone NEEDS to rent the movie, Soul Surfer. Talk about a tear jerker! It was so so so good, and super inspiring. My favorite part was when a reporter asked Bethany if she could take that day back to keep her arm, would she? She responded by saying she didn’t need two arms to embrace and love the world. Just weeks after her shark attack she was out on the waters… AND in Thailand on a mission trip, after the tsunami hit. I’ve seriously got lots to learn from this girl, who was quoting Jeremiah 29:11 right after she lost her arm…

for I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

The past two nights, I’ve watch two movies with the same theme… Victory through our struggles. I think the Lord is showing me something :) But seriously, if you are in the mood to bawl your eyes out… rent, The Grace Card and watch Soul Surfer the same night. Add some wine & chocolate and you will be in heaven!

 

 

For some reason I woke up this morning with an extremely burdened heart. I mean, I really don’t know why… considering I woke up to Juliet posting the homepage of her website, on my facebook wall. These people look familiar…

I’ve only seen two pictures from the wedding, and I am suppppperrrrr excited to see more! Have I mentioned how amazing she is before? :)

Anywho, as weird as this sounds, it’s a good thing that I woke up with a heavy heart. I think sometimes we mistake this feeling for being unhappy, or sad… when really it could just be Jesus laying something on us– pushing us into prayer for others, giving us compassion, or awakening new desires within us…. Or, all 3! I was just thinking, what a cool season to be in right now…

What will I do as a nurse? What change will I see? What healing will I be apart of– physically & spiritually? What an awesome burden Jesus is placing on me, at this time in my life!

Also, what an awesome husband God has given me! To place someone in my life who knows me so well, even when I don’t speak. Ethan surprised me with a visit, and poor people’s flowers at work… weeds…

I’m a sucker for stuff like this, so I thought it was just the sweetest thing! It definitely cheered me up, and reminded me of this scripture… “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” — Matthew 11:30

I am super-duper excited today!!! The first reason… our memory foam came in today!! Wahoooo. My back has been hurting so much lately, and I’ve been anticipating this arrival. Actually, I was anticipating this little piece of heaven before we were even married– When Ethan & I were in Kohls goofing around, and he pushed me on one of the display beds. Oh-my-goodness it was love at first touch!

The second reason… this one is the most exciting… it’s supppppperrrrr exciting… are you ready… are you sureeee?…okay here it is…

My tuition & books are covered for the year! I got a scholarship that covers EVERYTHING! I am so pumped about this you have no idea!!! It’s so funny because after all the confirmation I’ve received on going back to school for nursing, I was STILL asking God for more, even last night. God is probably like okay Chrissy, you are ridiculous. You asked for my plan and I gave you direct confirmation through scripture, your dreams, the peace I’ve placed within you & now finances… and you still want more confirmation? Psshhhh… I was literally laughing at myself, driving to work thinking about that. At this point, I swear Jesus could walk up to me, tap me on the shoulder and say, “Chrissy, you’re doing the right thing.” And then, I would just go home that night and pray, asking for more! We are so ridiculous sometimes… we ask, he shows, we don’t believe. Ugh. So Jesus, I pray that you increase my faith!

Anywho, I am just so thankful for this blessing. We’ve been going back and forth on whether this was the right timing for Ethan to start taking classes too. Unfortunately, he can not get any sort of financial aid, and they all have to be paid directly out of pocket. So with me not really working because of my class schedule, we just weren’t sure if it was possible at this time. However, just 2 days ago we decided there was no better time than now! And I really feel like this gift was confirmation with that decision too!

God is just so stinkin’ good, and I cannot express enough how glad I am, that I didn’t not go back to Farmington this January. Taking the past 8 months to actually wait upon the Lord, has been an amazing experience. He taught me so much during this season… patience, humility, where my identity lies. And through this decision, there is no way I would be where I am now. Over the past two years, I’ve been hearing you are so close, just finish it out. But in my heart I really knew that was not the plan God had for my life. I should have waited on the Lord when I moved back to Maine, instead of jumping back into something, just because. But hey, you live & learn… and I have to say, that experience really has made me see the value of prayer, patience & peace in a decision. Without those 3 things, you are walking & making decisions out of your own flesh.

I just Love, Love these two scriptures to live by…

Isaiah 26:3

You will keep in perfect peace
   those whose minds are steadfast,
   because they trust in you.

Philippians 4:6-8

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Okay, there are just 3 things that I just cannot get enough of right now and had to share… (!!)

1.) Marriage- I know it’s only been 3 weeks, but I am loving every single minute of it.

I love my husband’s strength and unwavering relationship with God, and how he really brings that into our marriage.

I love that we can come home with each other after our young adults group, pop open a bottle of wine and just dive into what God is doing in our lives.

I love the accountability that comes with marriage– that I have a partner who is for our success, and that we help each other in trusting God, putting him first & living out what we are called to do together.

I love that we can just so naturally piggy-back off of each other in prayer, which connects us together in such a spiritual way.

I love the new changes we are facing together– how our #1 priority is to stand firm in God’s plan for our marriage.

And most of all I love that God loves us so much that he gives us a best friend to walkout this life with… it really is such an amazing gift that I never want to take for granted.


2.) I love that God has given me passion again. The months leading up to our wedding, I felt so empty. I remember telling Ethan that I just felt like my passion had been emptied out, and that I had nothing left. Even when I felt like I was praying to nothing, I still spent a lot of time in prayer over this. It just goes to show that God calls us to be steadfast and obedient, regardless of our feelings. Regardless if we feel the passion, or we don’t. Regardless if we feel his presence, or we feel so alone. We are called to walk it out, in the highs and lows– That is our end of the deal… God holds up his part and is always faithful. Now, I feel like I have a double-dose of that passion, and I am praying it does not go away! But what I really love, is that I can look back on that season, and know that just because I felt distant from God, he was still there all along… And it was just that, a season. 

3.) I love The Prodigal God, by Timothy Keller. Seriously, such a great book! It takes the parable of the older & younger brother in, Luke 15:1-3, 11-32… and just really dives into showing how the lost, legalistic & self-righteous are all equally as far from God. I know this seems like a no-brainer, but the book really pushed self-evaluation, and as the book cover says, “It recovered the Heart of the Christian faith.” Sooo good :) I highly recommend it regardless of where you are in your walk.

That’s it for today! I just had to share a little of God’s goodness in my own life :) I hope everyone has a great day and is enjoying this beautiful weather here in Maine!

First off,  I have to say that I’m super pumped to have inherited a Mac computer through marriage :D :D Way better than anything else, for sure!

But, UGH… I hate those nights where I can’t sleep. Ethan was up at 4am for work, and I have not been able to go back to bed since… so here I am, blogging! Yeah! It may also be for the fact that Zoe is treating me like a jungle gym and licking my ear on the couch to prevent me from napping. But mostly, I can’t sleep because there’s so much running through my head. I’m having a mix of anxiety, nervousness & excitement for whats to come this fall. Which means I’m probably right where God wants me.

Anywho, not related to the change that’s to come… we have a friend who is on tour with Sex and Money, traveling to all 50 states in effort spread the word on sex-trafficing. I’ve heard so much about this issue relating to overseas, but not really anything about what’s going on right in our own backyards, here in the States. So, last night he was in Maine viewing the finished documentary (um, can I say AMAZING) Honestly, as awful as this sounds this issue just never really sat heavy on my heart until last night. And I couldn’t believe that the issue of trafficing, didn’t just lie with the stereotypical type of men. It’s purchased by your everyday average Joe’s… Doctors, Lawyers, Teachers, and even Pastors and people in ministry. It all starts as an addiction to pornography, then the lines get pushed father and farther, until it hits the streets. I guess this hit so close to home, because I once thought that no one I knew would ever do such a thing. It was only the people who came from the “ghetto”, or the homeless… really anyone but the people that I knew.

However, a few years ago I was confided in by a Christian who told me he once purchased a trafficed girl on the way back from a Mission’s trip. Of course it didn’t sit well with me then, but I think I pushed it to the back of my head. However, now that I have all the info, stats and background on the issue, I’m seriously sick to my stomach over it. Last night the video triggered such a righteous anger for these children. I started praying & crying for these girls, and what hurt my heart more than anything was that, the very people who were sent to “heal the broken hearted” (Isaiah 61)  were fueling the fire. We are supposed to be apart of the solution, not the problem.

I am truly not writing this to out anyone, but honestly I believe it’s time for change. And for us to realize that it’s a BIG addiction that can effect anyone… even the people we would least expect. We are a selfish generation (definitely including myself in that statement) but it’s time to step-up, face conviction, and allow His Grace into our lives. God’s Grace is so big, and I feel that all too often we do not use the amazing gift that Jesus shed his blood to give us.

I just feel like it’s so important to sit on the scripture of Isaiah 61… it’s truly our mission statement as Christians. The Spirit of the SOVEREIGN Lord is on US. We were anointed by His Spirit to proclaim His good news. We were sent to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim FREEDOM to the captives, to release them from their darkened world, and to comfort- not abuse, not live as the world lives… For it is his heart that loves justice– not disgrace. Now more than ever I’m realizing how important it is as Christians to really evaluate the strongholds in our lives. These strongholds do not only effect ourselves and prevent us from living in our full potential of what God calls us to do… but each and every stronghold, and sin effects the people around us. If people were not buying the product (the children) this would not be an issue. Therefore, because of our selfish desires, we exploit and breakdown the spirits of children.

I think I’ve always pushed the issue on child sex-trafficing to the side, because it just seemed too big, and too overwhelming to even go there. Writing this blog for awareness is the least I could do, and I just want to ask for everyone’s prayers (along with Ethan and I) to make a conscious, continuous effort to pray for all the innocent children sold daily into slavery. I know God’s heart is just crying out for justice in this, and he wants to use us to heal these children, so they can walk in the total restoration that Jesus can bring.

Here’s a video from the Love 146 organization (not the same as sex and money) It’s just a short 3 min video, take a look at what could be hidden in the towns we live in, not just overseas…

Isaiah 61

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.

 4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
   and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
   that have been devastated for generations.
5 Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
   foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
   you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
   and in their riches you will boast.

 7 Instead of your shame
   you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
   you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
   and everlasting joy will be yours.

 8 “For I, the LORD, love justice;
   I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
In my faithfulness I will reward my people
   and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
   and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
   that they are a people the LORD has blessed.”

 10 I delight greatly in the LORD;
   my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
   and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
   and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
   and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness
   and praise spring up before all nations.

I have never met a man in my life that has wanted a little kitty more than my husband. Or maybe he was just saying that because I was so excited pre-wedding, talking about how married life would be… Just us, our cute little place, and a little kitty. Anywho, Ethan sent me a picture of this little Pee-wee, and then called me at work saying he was bringing her home. Total surprise… He’s the best!

Isn’t that face just the sweetest? I am in LOVE.

Is it weird to love a kitty so much? She is 7 1/2 weeks old and can fit in the palm of your hand. Needless to say, our Zoe was the runt of the litter. But she is so sweet, and loves us so much already. In fact, we had to sleep downstairs on the floor with her last night, because she is too tiny to climb the stairs to our room, and definitely does not want us out of her sight. I went to take a shower & through the water, and vent noise, I could hear her little, tiny, screechy meow begging me to come out. It seriously broke my heart to leave for work this morning! All because of a kitty.

As I was driving to work, thinking about my little family, and listening to Love Came Down by Brian Johnson. (The same song that Ethan’s brother Isaiah, and my bestie Shanna rocked singing at our wedding) I felt such a strong presence of God resting on me. I just really want to savor and hold onto this season of my life. I have so much thanks to give to God for what he’s given me… and it’s so much better than what I ever thought it would be!

Love these lyrics…

“I remind myself of all that you’ve done, and the life I have, because of your Son”

WE DID IT!!!!!

WE ARE MARRIED!!

WAHOOOO!!!!!

Hello, My name is Mrs. Christine Bennett :D

I decided to write a blog on the plane ride to our honeymoon, so I could remember all the little details that meant so much to me! I never actually posted it to my blog, but here it is!

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Words cannot describe how much joy is in my heart right now, and the pure happiness I felt on our wedding day. In fact, we are actually on the airplane headed on our honeymoon right at this very moment. Ethan is snoring next to me, with drool coming out of his mouth. Okay, maybe not the drool part… But in all seriousness yesterday was the PERFECT day. It’s amazing to look back on our day and see how all the little petty worries played out. It was truly yet another testimony to God’s faithfulness. And how he truly knows what’s best for us, above our own needs, wants & desires.

For days leading up to the wedding I was so worried about the rain. Seriously y’all, it was bad. I was an OCD weather-checker every 5 minutes. Ethan and I decided not to rent a tent. I had this vision of lights draping over the tables with stars in the sky and just a cute, simple backyard DIY wedding. We had our whole church body praying and rebuking the rain, so we decided to just let the tent issue go & opt out. It was just NOT going to rain. Yeahhh right.

First off, I have to say I was absolutely in shock as I walked up to the reception site. I could not believe how our vision for the wedding was played out. Everything was so perfect and better than what I had expected. And I mean everything. The months we spent scouring wedding blogs, sewing, and crafting completely paid off.

Juliet Jones and her hubby Mat flew out to Maine and captured our ceremony and reception. I seriously love that girl, she is THE BEST… and I am super excited to see the photos!!! Anywho, the rain held off until right after the ceremony and even after taking pictures at a gorgeous field right up the road from Ethan’s parents house. We were surrounded by fields of long grass, wild flowers and dew from the pending rain. I seriously cannot even describe how I felt standing in that field… in my wedding dress, with my adorable husband in his cute little suspenders and skinny tie.

Right after we arrived to our reception site from the pictures the rain started to fall. We ended up having our first dance to “Amen” by Dave Barnes in the rain, which was soo incredibly romantic. I also thought it was so stinking cute to see everyone sitting under the lights with their umbrellas out.

check-out our song :D… it’s one of my favs!!

Anyways, as the reception went on the rain continued to get heavier, which only meant the party got better. We danced the night away with our closest friends and family in the pouring rain. SO FUN! And then, to finish out the night we all decided to jump in the pool… full wedding attire and all. I have to say my very favorite memory from our wedding reception was jumping in the pool with my mom on one side, and my mother-in-law on the other. Classic.

Our wedding was so us, and surpassed my expectations. I’ve never had more fun in my life!!! And I can’t express how perfect it was… just PERFECT! I wish we could relive each and every moment over again.

I just have to say God’s grace & love has never felt more real, and more evident in my life than now. I woke up this morning in total shock thinking about how much God has blessed me. God gave me such an awesome perspective in so many different ways through our wedding day and night. So often we are blind to what God is doing behind the scenes, or how he is working. I was so stressed that the rain was going to ruin all the hard work everyone put into the reception, but the rain was actually what made the wedding. And I was so upset with myself for not waiting until marriage in other aspects, but God blessed me for repenting and walking in truth, and I was able experienced his Grace in such a different way. God is so good.

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
   the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
   from those whose walk is blameless.

Psalm 84:11

It was truly a day I will never forget and I cannot stop looking at my husband next to me sleeping on the plane. Every single trial, circumstance, and event was so awesomely planned, and worked for our good to bring us into marriage. Walking in the plan of God completely changed my worldly aspect of what marriage is about… He changed my view and showed me how God actually intended it to be. And so on this day, I just pray that we continue to set our sights on God… that we continue to press into seeing marriage as the Lord made it, and that he makes me the wife and woman I am supposed to be for Ethan. I love this crazy journey we just began and I have to agree with the married folk out there… marriage ROCKS!

Thank you to everyone who drank wine, smoked cigars, danced the night away in the pouring rain, and swam in the pool. We love you guys so much!! I am so thankful and blessed for the amazing family, friendships & community that surrounds us… and so looking forward to this season of blessing that is only going to continue. As Ethan always says, I truly believe the favor of God is on us, and that is AWESOME!

Here are just a few pics from the night…

Mr. & Mrs. Bennett…

The lovely cake…

Just a little wet…

One of my lovely bridesmaids…

Just me…

My beautiful mom…

This past Saturday my almost hubby & I went to Waterville, where we attended one night, of a 3-part conference. They had a speaker from the Bethel Church out in Redding, California, who was discussing strong-holds, fear, and how so many times we let our past determine our future. After we left that night I started thinking about how our pasts really are the only thing Satan has on us. He can’t read our minds, he has no idea the plans that God has for each of us… so really, the only way he can try and make us stumble is by throwing our past back in our faces. And so often we are the ones that let the enemy determine our future. In my own life I’ve been letting the enemy whisper little lies into my ears… whatever I thought I could possibly fail in, I just wouldn’t do, or try it. I was putting God in my own little box, and ripping myself off to God’s plans for me, all because of a little fear called, failing.

Anywho, I jotted down a few quotes from this guy (I cannot remember his name for the life of me!!) that I really loved. And thought they would help some other people break strong-holds too…

– Your past is not your issue, it’s your current beliefs.

– God likes to use people who have issues, because he has no one else to use

– If there was a perfect ministry for you to attend, the minute you walked into it, it wouldn’t be perfect anymore

– Every Spiritual leader needs an oil change every 3,000 ministry miles. Renewed thoughts, renewed minds, renewed spirits.

– Our lives are a constant battle between truth vs. lies. It’s either truth, or a lie… we’ve got to discern it and speak against it.

– Life is in the power of the tongue

– You are transformed into the person you worship. How do you see Jesus? Stiff, rigid, loving, joyful… you are transformed into that person.

– If a baby determined whether he could walk on his past attempts, he’d never walk.

– An apple tree doesn’t say he doesn’t have apples when he’s not bearing them. It’s always an apple tree, even when you cannot SEE them.

I really felt like hearing this sermon was HUGE confirmation in my own life, and what Ethan & I have been praying through. This conference couldn’t have come at a better time for the decisions we are making together as future husband and wife. And I stand firm in saying this is a time in our lives… especially as young adults, where God is trying to get us to wake-up, and see that the best predictor of our future is not determined by our past. The best predictor of our future is determined on whether or not we can see ourselves the way God see’s us. If we can lay our baggage down at his feet, walk in His truth and allow him to set us free from the lies. We all have the ability to stand firm in the path he has for us and we cannot let our own fear change the course of God’s plan.  God is committed to full restoration in every person. It is up to us to run with this gift, or push it away to just sit in the same place. We have to do the work too– We must press on, walk in obedience to His truth, and pray to gain wisdom & discernment in our battle between truth and lies.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:12

16 days. I can hardly believe it… 16 days. Two weeks and two days! Hooray!

I went for a walk this morning to get coffee and to have some time with minimal distractions so I could pray before work. This is what God showed me this morning…

1.) The biggest duh of all… God is good. Actually, God is not just good to me, He is great to me. He has made me into a beautiful work of progress. I am not the same girl I was last year at this time, and I am certainly not the same girl I was 2 years ago. My biggest prayer is progress right now. I pray to never settle for contentment, to always strive for God to progressively change me. That He changes my heart, my mind, my thoughts, my actions, and my outlook. I don’t want to be the same person I was yesterday. and I look to Him for change.

2.) How much I’ve learned about myself over the past 6 months of engagement. and how much I’ve learned about Ethan. God has put a fire in my heart towards another human that I never thought was possible to feel. He is the strongest person I have ever met. Seriously, I have never met a man who stands so firm in Truth not just by his voice, but by his actions too. He has this amazing balance and discernment in being strong and firm and yet, gentle and loving. I know I am being all mushy gushy, but in all honesty I am honored and proud to call him my husband in 2 weeks.

3.) That I really like Phil Wickham. Ethan would always put the Phil Wickham station on Pandora, and I would tell him all the time that I just don’t like him. How could you not love this song though? I was right, I don’t like his music… I love it.

4.) That there are so many hurtful things happening in my life at this very moment… but there are way more things that are beyond better than what I could have ever imagined. And if I do the math, the good totally outweigh the bad. and even the bad is good, because it keeps me grounded and humbled daily. So if you do even more math, I live an amazingly blessed life. And once again, God is SO great to me.

5.) That I’m tired of dabbling in the world. As Christians world we put so much emphasis on the things we see as the “biggies.” You don’t get drunk, you wait till marriage to have sex, you serve each other first. Sometimes I feel like Satan puts so much emphasis tripping us up with the “biggies” that we forget about the small. I want my heart to be so grounded in Christ and his Word that I don’t even see those big things as something I really have spend my time praying for self-control. And I want my generation of believers to lead in example. I want my generation to have one life, not the double. I want my generation (me included of course) to spend more time chasing after God, rather than spending more time trying to hide their other life. And I’ve realized how much this really hurts my heart. For the past few months the enemy has been trying to force frustration and irritation towards others in this aspect, but in all reality it just hurts that we are setting this example for the generation behind us. and that scares me.

6.) Lastly, I have so much hope and excitement right now. I have an excitement for marriage, and this new covenant we’re entering. I have an excitement to walk out our lives for Christ together, and I have an excitement to be a wife!

Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your  work well, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. –Galatians 6:4