16 days. I can hardly believe it… 16 days. Two weeks and two days! Hooray!

I went for a walk this morning to get coffee and to have some time with minimal distractions so I could pray before work. This is what God showed me this morning…

1.) The biggest duh of all… God is good. Actually, God is not just good to me, He is great to me. He has made me into a beautiful work of progress. I am not the same girl I was last year at this time, and I am certainly not the same girl I was 2 years ago. My biggest prayer is progress right now. I pray to never settle for contentment, to always strive for God to progressively change me. That He changes my heart, my mind, my thoughts, my actions, and my outlook. I don’t want to be the same person I was yesterday. and I look to Him for change.

2.) How much I’ve learned about myself over the past 6 months of engagement. and how much I’ve learned about Ethan. God has put a fire in my heart towards another human that I never thought was possible to feel. He is the strongest person I have ever met. Seriously, I have never met a man who stands so firm in Truth not just by his voice, but by his actions too. He has this amazing balance and discernment in being strong and firm and yet, gentle and loving. I know I am being all mushy gushy, but in all honesty I am honored and proud to call him my husband in 2 weeks.

3.) That I really like Phil Wickham. Ethan would always put the Phil Wickham station on Pandora, and I would tell him all the time that I just don’t like him. How could you not love this song though? I was right, I don’t like his music… I love it.

4.) That there are so many hurtful things happening in my life at this very moment… but there are way more things that are beyond better than what I could have ever imagined. And if I do the math, the good totally outweigh the bad. and even the bad is good, because it keeps me grounded and humbled daily. So if you do even more math, I live an amazingly blessed life. And once again, God is SO great to me.

5.) That I’m tired of dabbling in the world. As Christians world we put so much emphasis on the things we see as the “biggies.” You don’t get drunk, you wait till marriage to have sex, you serve each other first. Sometimes I feel like Satan puts so much emphasis tripping us up with the “biggies” that we forget about the small. I want my heart to be so grounded in Christ and his Word that I don’t even see those big things as something I really have spend my time praying for self-control. And I want my generation of believers to lead in example. I want my generation to have one life, not the double. I want my generation (me included of course) to spend more time chasing after God, rather than spending more time trying to hide their other life. And I’ve realized how much this really hurts my heart. For the past few months the enemy has been trying to force frustration and irritation towards others in this aspect, but in all reality it just hurts that we are setting this example for the generation behind us. and that scares me.

6.) Lastly, I have so much hope and excitement right now. I have an excitement for marriage, and this new covenant we’re entering. I have an excitement to walk out our lives for Christ together, and I have an excitement to be a wife!

Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your  work well, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. –Galatians 6:4

 

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