Emotions are a funny thing. When you’re “happy” you feel like you rule the world. You can do anything and God will use you anywhere. You are the shiz, you are da bomb and you are your own biggest fan. You think, “dang I’m cool. Gosh, God loves me so much. Gee-whiz I wouldn’t want to be anyone else but Chrissy Chambers, because that girl… oh wait that’s me. Wow, I’m something else.” 

Then, the emotion flips and God humbles your booty before you can count to 5. How do you react? He brings up an issue or event from your past… how do you handle it? Do you choose to gloss over it with your own might? Do you become sad, angry, or frustrated? Do the tables begin to turn from thinking your da bomb to your emotions ruling your thoughts? God loves me so much turns to; God do you really even freaking care about me? I’m usless, I’m unworthy, I’m never going to be used.

I say they rule our minds, because they really do. Emotions are used by the enemy to control us and keep us locked in a place of stand-still, and fear. The fact of the matter is that God thinks the same of us, regardless of what we feel in that moment. My emotions will not change the outcome of a situation; cause God to use me differently, see me differently, or love me in a different way. I know this is all something we have heard before, but do we really apply it to our lives? Are our minds, thoughts and beliefs so Christ-like that we can look past our emotions IN THE MOMENT and actually believe what our heavenly father really feels about us?

I’ve always been one to really experience and feel things. This has made me extremely susceptible to being ruled by my emotions. Words that are used towards me tend to reach me right in the gut and I can literally feel them. If someone gives me a compliment, I take it to heart. If someone says something negative, it pierces me to the point of where I literally feel it. This is such an amazing gift that God has given me; the gift of compassion. It pushes me to want to see complete and full restoration in people’s lives based off truth and love. It pushes me to put my needs aside and put others before me, to carry burdens for other people and to cry right along side of someone whose hurting. I get joy from seeing others joyful and I cry when I see others cry. Most people would look at that and think, what an awesome gift. However, right now for me, it’s not. My gifting is being twisted from the enemy and I’m allowing this to happen. I can’t control my own emotions… I am being ruled by my emotions, not by God.

It may sound like I’m writing this in a negative context, but this is actually a really freeing thing for me. To ease my emotional state I have chosen to ignore things in the past. I remember having a conversation with my mom one night, talking about my history with men. My life started off with a not so great father, which caused me to run to my first boyfriend at the age of 15, expecting him to meet my every need. I lost my virginity at 15 and after that I went from guy to guy to guy. Not necessarily sleeping with them, but looking for a man to meet my needs that my earthly father never met. To ease my emotional state, feelings of abandonment and hurt, I would always say, it’s okay everything happens for a reason. I was not honest with God or myself that my father’s behaviors towards me was soul-crushing, and I was not honest with God, or myself that my own behaviors towards running to men was destructive and hurtful to myself.

This is why I have such a heart for teenagers. I always think, “if only I knew Jesus back then” I wonder how different my choices in life would have been. I probably wouldn’t have put myself in half the situations I did. The funny thing about sin is that above all, it hurts God the most. We think that our sin only hurts ourselves and it only affects the course of our lives. Not only does sin open the door for the enemy to walk in and throw more at us; tempting us more and more and more. But above us, above our feelings and emotions towards events in our lives, it hurts God so much more.

Last night I was crying in my bed, totally overcome by my emotions. Ethan came over and said he got a picture of God hunched over just pouring out tears for me. Do we not realize that our sin, our emotions, our feelings effect God? Do we not realize the depth of what God did for us?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

Do we read this scripture and just let it pass over our heads? This scripture should pierce the core of who we are. If you love Jesus, you should read this scripture, stop, pray and thank our heavenly father. God sent his one and only son, to enter a world of sin, pain, warfare and persecution and he did this for each of us. Each of us who are so undeserving. I’m not meaning to say this in a way that’s, “Oh God, I’m so unworthy!” Rather, in a way that makes us all stop and think about the depth of this verse.

I was actually saved based on this scripture and ironically based on a feeling. Sadness and depression was something that has consumed my life. As a teenage girl I dealt with depression, by cutting myself. Once again, the enemy perverts something God made so good into something so evil. Cutting was my way of releasing feelings and emotions that I could not control. The fact that Jesus entered this world and felt each and every negative emotion that I once experienced, really hit me hard. My God understands me. My God knows the pain I’m going through. In fact, I’m sure the very same emotions I experienced was magnified 100 times for him.

It’s awesome to know that emotions won’t be in heaven and I know the joy we feel here will not even come close to the joy that we will experience in heaven. My heart hurts so much for the people who are non-believers. Not only for the fact that they are missing out on experiencing joy here on earth only found in Him, but for the fact that in hell, their emotions will rule them. They will be separated from God and feel that on an everyday basis. Earth is the closest thing to heaven they will ever experience… while earth is a believers hell.

I woke up at 4am with the “Step by Step” theme song in my head. I thought this was a little odd, giggled and put it as my status on facebook… “Just woke up with the “Step by Step” theme song in my head… Weird. But dang, what a good show! I did love me some TGIF back in the day.” I fell back asleep immediately after, but when I woke up again I felt like God wanted me to press into this song. I always heard the “Step by Step” part, but I never realized this was actually taken from a song about the Lord…

The dream, wide broken
Seemed like all was lost
What would be the future
Could you pay the cost
You wonder,
Will there ever be
a second time around?

Woah-a, woah-a
When the tears are over
And the moment has come
Say “My lord,
I think I found someone”
And no one would be better
To be putting it together
For the second time around

We got the woman and man
We got the kids in a clan
Only time will tell
If all these dreams fit under one umbrella

Step by step
Day by day
A fresh start over
A different hand to play
The deeper we fall
The stronger we stay
And we’ll be better
The second time around

Step by step
Day by day
{Day by day}
A fresh start over
A different hand to play
Only time will tell
But you know what they say
We’ll make it better
The second time around

And once again, God is so stinking cool. With this song he was telling me, “it’s okay, Chrissy. I understand, I feel for you. Just take it Step by Step, day by day and it will be better. You are new in me.” It’s cool because my second time around is coming on Sunday. I will finally be baptized and I truly believe this will be a new turn for me in my relationship with God. I was experiencing so many blessings, with getting married, finding an amazing community and awesome Church. However, during this season on joy, I forgot about everything else I was once going through. God wants us to press into him, give him our baggage and to stop saying to ourselves, it’s ok- everything happens for a reason. No matter what season we are in, we cannot forget about our past struggles, or our past sins. These issues will ALWAYS come back up if we don’t deal with them. It’s a step-by-step, day-by-day process, but with God we can look past our own emotions and begin to see things through God’s eyes.

 But in all seriousness, don’t y’all miss them?!?!?