I have this ridiculous routine at work that’s pretty much the same thing day-in & day-out. I really don’t know how I was blessed with a job that allows me to listen to sermons, read, write, workout… pretty much do what I want when all the paperwork and other minor chores are done. The pay isn’t extremely great, in fact not great at all. But the awesome thing about my job is that I actually really, really, really love it. For some reason God always plants my butt working in a gym. Whether in Charleston or Maine, I really love working in the gym atmosphere. You get the widest variety of people and a gym is a people-watchers heaven. Seriously, it really is. I have this awful guilty pleasure of watching the “meat-heads” get rejected by girls. I know that’s not a “Christian-like” thing to say, but it really is this guilty-pleasure of mine.

Anywho, that was totally off topic to this blog. I was just thinking how much freedom comes with being a follower of Jesus. He swoops in and changes these heavy, burdening, worldly misconceptions that most people walk with. It’s crazy how he can make me feel so content and so worthy regardless of my education, socioeconomic status, pay-grade, or job title. I will be the first to say I have not always felt this way and it’s taken me up until a few months ago to realize my identity does not lie in these things.

If God did not put me at this very desk I’m sitting at right now, I don’t believe I would be as intimate and content in my relationship with him. Yes, I do strive to grow closer to Him and I’m not perfect, but it’s crazy reading my old journal entries and blogs from even just 3, 4 or 5 months ago. This morning I went to look at my site stats and saw that I had 101 views yesterday. Over 100 views is typical for the days that I post a blog, but it’s not typical on a normal day… I’m not that famous, yet. (I kid, I kid) Some random person went through and read every single blog. All these old blog titles that I had forgotten I even wrote came up. “American Honey” was a blog I wrote on March 24, 2010… it was exactly 1 year ago from tomorrow. I was literally chuckling while reading it because I honestly sound SO DRAMATIC. Sometimes I really think God must sit on his little throne and giggle at how dramatic we all are. I mean c’mon, Chrissy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also found a few of my summertime goals from last year. It’s so cool to look back on these goals! Some of them I’ve met, some of them I definitely still struggle in… but all in all, I think Jesus has stayed by my side- He has stayed faithful in helping me meet these goals and I’ve seem HUGE growth & improvement.

These were my goals from last year…. (Don’t laugh too much)

1.)    Blogging. Blogging everyday. This will be hard for me, but I’m up for the challenge. Even if it’s just a short blog about my trip to Wal-Mart that day, (or the 2 trips to Wal-Mart with me) it doesn’t matter. I just need the time to reflect on my day and hold myself to some sort of accountability that I’ve accomplished something cool that day.

2.)    The second goal is doing something I’ve never done before. I know this is so cliché, but life is way too short. And I don’t mean doing something for just myself everyday, but doing something new that glorifies God everyday. It can be anything from going to a new coffee shop and reading the bible, to finding new Christian music artists or journaling in a new place… just something. I want to get the most out of beautiful Charleston right now. Hey, at least it will give me something to blog about right?!

3.)    To let the Lord break down my walls. I think this scares me, but I need to remind myself daily that the Lord won’t hurt me.

4.)    Keep my room completely clean. Clothes on hangers, no excuses that I don’t have a dresser right now. They can at least be folded neatly. And just for the record I am laying on a made bed right now and in a clean room! Plus one for me :)

5.)    To let myself be sad. I have so much pride around this issue, but I think I’m getting better at it. I hate to tell people when they’ve hurt me, yet alone show any emotion about it. My pride would rather me go on letting everyone think I’m just fine and dandy. I want to learn that it’s ok to be sad and to cry… It’s ok to let people know that I am hurting. However, also to realize life does go on. These feelings won’t last forever and to continuously remind myself God has an even more amazing plan than I ever could for myself. I want to just enjoy the closeness that God has to offer in my time of sorrow.

6.)    Forgiveness; to everyone and everything. It’s time to let a few things go.

7.)    My 6th goal is HUGE for me… as I think it is a challenge for many women. To realize no matter how hard you try, how hard you push and pry… you can’t change anyone. It’s called nagging girls, we all just need to drop it and accept, or move on.

8.)    Not to waste so much time on facebook stalking and get out and explore! People don’t want a play-by-play of my day. :) 99.9% of the time this is what my day is like;

-8:08am Wake up, eat cheerio’s… ok I already lied. More like 10am.

-Check my facebook account, nope no messages.

-10:30 have a half hour conversation with myself, debating whether I want to go to the gym now, or wait till later. Do I want to see Cliff and Jamie today? No, I’ll wait till 7. If I wait till 7pm I can tan. But that’s a horrible reason, I shouldn’t tan anyway- tanning causes skin cancer. Also, if I wait till later I might get lazy and not go.

-11:45 The decision to go to the gym now or later becomes too hard, so I decide to go on facebook.

Ok, I have to end it there. I am way to embarrassed… yes these really are my day-to-day conversations with myself and going on facebook to distract me is how I always solve my problems. I guess I think by some miracle someone’s status will give me the answer I am looking for. Unfortunately it never does. ** Disclaimer** This is not ALWAYS how my day goes, sometimes I work and my decision process is altered.

9.)    Pray for others more. It really does pay off. I’ve been praying for my mom lately and her relationship with the Lord. The other day she whipped out a bible verse and gave me some great advice. At that moment I realized God was using me as a tool and answering my prayers. What an amazing gift to receive from God.

10.) Matthew 22:37

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

My last and more important goal for myself is to have Jesus at the tip of my tongue everyday. To remember to that he is the reason I wake up in the morning, he keeps me going, and he deserves all the glory.

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