It’s funny all the ways in which the enemy tries to attack you. I was kind of laughing on the way home from work yesterday, because I’ve been giving him free reign to attack me through my blogs. Each and every time I post one of these things my thoughts automatically go to oh my gosh, I shouldn’t have written that. That line right there, that could have offended someone. I hope this person doesn’t think it’s about them… it’s really not about them, it’s just something I’ve been feeling. I’ll tell you what God has really pointed out some significant stuff about my personality through blogging. Like for instance, how much of a people-pleaser I am. I’m always trying to take into consideration each persons feelings, yet at the same time write what I truly feel is from God. I’ve learned that it’s extremely hard to be a people-pleaser and write about the Gospel. You can’t sugar-coat this stuff. Jesus certainly did not care about offending in the name of his Father. He preached the hard stuff and while I’m not saying my opinions are always right, they are just that, opinions. I’m allowed to have them, you are too! I may feel like my Church down South wasn’t as Spirit led as it could have been, but another person may absolutely LOVE it. They are my thoughts & feelings and they aren’t wrong. Yet, I get so concerned that someone who goes to that Church may possibly read that comment and be offended. In all reality… who freaking cares, who freaking cares?!

Sometimes it gets to the point where I’ve had enough of picking myself apart and I say, okay- that’s it no more writing! This will solve the problem and then I won’t get attacked. God literally had to say to me bluntly, “first off- it’s a freaking blog, Chrissy… it’s a BLOG. And secondly you’re getting attacked because it’s truth, and the enemy does not like truth.” Why I take it so seriously? Only the Lord knows. The underlying issue is that I am indeed a people-pleaser and it’s really hard to write about feelings, opinions & truth when you carry a trait like that. In fact, I’m just going to say it bluntly, it really sucks. I once wrote about not blowing bubbles up peoples butts and sugar-coating real issues. Do you know how hard that was for me to write?! In my in head I was thinking, can I please just sugar-coat this so I don’t offend anyone… so people like me. I really think all the people-pleasers out there need something like AA. People-pleasers Anonymous. Just throwing that out there if someone reads this and feels called to start a Christian group like that.

Anywho I absolutely love this quote by C.S Lewis…“We must get over wanting to be needed-this is the hardest of all temptations to resist” I actually have that under the quotes section on my facebook page. Sometimes I need a daily, maybe even hourly reminder. I also heard someone once say that being a people-pleaser can make you into a liar. God made us who we are for a reason. Each person has a specific purpose for His Kingdom and he makes us all different to fulfill his grand amazing plan. If we feel the need to change like a chameleon with each setting or each person we talk to, we are lying to to ourselves, we are lying to God and we are certainly lying to others about who we really are and what we stand for.

On Sunday, as I was going through the fire tunnel at Church (and yes, I did double-dip!!!) one of the lady’s said, “You have this meek, almost shy personality, but God has given you a loud voice for his Kingdom. Don’t be afraid to use it and shout it loud.” I immediately knew what God was referring to. As much as this is just a blog, I know God is using my blog to reach others. I know what my purpose is in writing it, and I know it’s to shout God’s voice LOUD and bold, so he can pluck the people he needs, to fulfill his Kingdom purposes. I need to remind myself that nothing I say, nothing I do is the deciding factor in who ultimately comes to know the Lord. I also need to remind myself that it is the enemies voice telling me my thoughts, feelings & opinions are not valid, because they most certainly are valid. We all have so much to offer, yet we dismiss our giftings because we are listening to lies of the enemy. Lies that are so far from the truth and what God feels about us. He wants us to succeed, he wants his Kingdom to grow… He is not against us.