Can I just tell y’all how SUPER EXCITED I am today?! I’m really, really, reallllllly excited! I feel like I have ants in my pants and a complete giddy mess here at work! It’s official Juliet Elizabeth is our photographer for the wedding! ANNNNNNNDDDDDDD Ethan and I will be in Charleston, South Carolina April 7-11. We are so blessed that she is able to shoot our engagement photo’s too.

It’s not like I haven’t said this before, so I’m sure everyone knows this! But Charleston is oh so special to me! Had I not moved there, Ethan and I DEFINITELY would not have met. I would still be drunk in the Old Port, sitting in snowbanks to pee at 2am after dancin’ on those bars at Iguana. lol kidding of course… the Iguana got shut down due to it’s sketchiness, so I wouldn’t be there ;-)

Anywho, Jesus found me at Sarah & Donald’s wedding in good ol’ Charleston, South Carolina. All those years of secretly making fun of the “Jesus Loves You” bracelets and something finally clicked in my head. I remember taking a walk at Land’s End a few weeks after getting back from their wedding. I had this feeling that I couldn’t kick, that I was not supposed to be in Maine. That summer I was about to enter my Senior year at UMF and was faced with this huge decision on whether to follow this gut feeling, or take the practical route of finishing school and then move. I’m sure y’all have heard the song, Valley of Tomorrow by NEEDTOBREATHE, but there’s a line in the song that says, “I never second-guesssed the little voice I heard. It’s just a whisper, that sounded like a scream. I aint never felt so free.”

I love that line, it was so true for me. Looking back, I know it was the Holy Spirit whispering “come follow me” on that walk. To be honest I had no freaking clue of what I was doing. I even thought I was crazy to quit school with one year left. I called Sarah (who by the way even though she was my cousin we barely knew each other) told her what I was feeling and the newly weds so graciously offered me a room in their house until I got a job, roommate & apartment. That night at work I sent a text message to my mom telling her I was moving to Charleston and put my two weeks notice into both jobs. Two weeks later I packed up my little Jetta with anything I could fit in it and moved!

I just really love my Jesus story. He is so good to us and we don’t even realize it sometimes. I seriously had no idea what the H-E- double hockey sticks I was getting into at all. In fact, not going to lie… I always say I’m glad I was so naive to the situation. I really don’t know if I would have jumped in as wholeheartedly, had I known the trials I would face. I probably went through some of the lowest times of my life in Charleston. My poor roommate, the little 2nd grade Southern Belle school teacher. I was a hot mess of tears, up and down… up and down the entire time. God had to completely break me down and build me back up again. He had to break me free from the false & deceiving world view I carried around for 22 years. Honestly, I would not trade one of those memories or trials. Growing in relationship with Jesus is the scariest, yet most exciting and fulfilling thing a person can do.

I remember the exact moment I was saved & the first time I experienced God. I remember thumbing through my bible endlessly until 3, 4, sometimes 5 in the morning, just trying to understand the gibberish. Seriously, that’s what it was to me… complete gibberish. I remember thinking what on earth did I do? I seriously just f’d up my life in the biggest way. So in saying that, to anyone out there new in their relationship with Christ… I totally feel you. It’s so freaking confusing! Yeah, let me just get this straight… you’re telling me this man died on a cross, was resurrected and you’re praying to him? Relying on him to fulfill your needs? Relying on him for comfort, Grace, love, reassurance? I think I’ll just stick to depending on myself. So. much. easier. Not to mention believable.

God really had a lot of work to do on me. I didn’t realize how cold & hardened I was as a person. Sometimes even now, it’s really difficult for me to be all lovey-dovey, huggy, touchy-feely. You know, how most Christians are. I even dated a guy who once said I had this hard candy shell coating over me. Now, I laugh at that comment… Ethan does too! Here’s the thing; the love of Christ can crack any person. The people that we think will never get it, the people we have lost hope in. Our words may seem useless (because most of the time they are) but the love of Christ can change anyone. He changed me.

Sometimes events in our life seem so overwhelming, so hopeless. But in a second God can turn it around before we can even blink. When I think of the book of Esther and how hopeless it seemed when Mordecai learned that Haman wanted to sentence death on all the Jews in the Kingdom. Once Esther heard about the plot, even though she was at great personal risk she decides to accept the role of confronting the King and beg him for mercy for her people. Through a series of events (no doubt orchestrated by God) and her wise handling of the circumstances, Haman’s true colors are shown. Haman is the one hung on the gallows that he had prepared for Mordecai. And the Jews of the kingdom are saved from extinction.

Sometimes it seems like our world is falling apart around us, that a situation is hopeless. But God asks for us to trust and to let him do the rest. He can turn any situation, no matter how dark it seems, into a story that demonstrates his faithfulness. While I was laying on my bathroom floor in Charleston, throwing huge hissy-fits, crying, praying for God to just flipping take away some of my financial & emotional burdens that I was facing… he was busy at work in my life, just writing another one of his stories on faithfulness.

What are you struggling with today? Are you walking around feeling hopeless, lost and defeated? I can promise you, while your head is down, God is orchestrating certain events right now at this very moment in your life. Events in your life that are so amazing and down the road you will look back & praise the Lord that he let you stay in that fetal position, crying on the bathroom floor. Once again, he is so good to us and we don’t even realize it.

1 Corinthians 2:9

What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived
the things God has prepared for those who love him.