I always love hearing how God speaks to different people. How does he speak to you? He speaks to me really, really fast. In these long elegant sentences, often very sarcastically and VERY blunt. I know when it’s truly him because of the things he says and the way he says it. Trust me y’all there’s absolutely NO WAY I could be the one to think up those thoughts. I’m actually even kind of jealous that they aren’t my words. One thing I’ve been praying for lately is to be more clear and concise when I speak. I have this annoying tendency to stumble over my words- my brain gets overloaded with thoughts and my mouth just can’t ever seem to catch up- so annoying! So my outlet is writing what he speaks to me and this enables me to actually reflect and process things.

Well, this morning God spoke to me. I knew it was of him because I was driving in my car and my head was going a mile a minute- thinking all these thoughts, praying things that I didn’t even know I needed to pray. Gosh I just love when that happens. At first I was thinking that I should apologize for any sass, sarcasm or bluntness that may come out during this blog. Then, when I really thought about it… I actually really don’t give a darn if I offend anyone. It’s not my job to blow bubbles up peoples butt and make it seem like we all should be pooping rainbows. This is real adult life, not a children’s book. And I’m annoyed (as you can probably tell).

The other day Ethan’s dad was telling me how he was in Borders and someone asked him for a good self help book recommendation. He told the person he should read the bible. I kind of giggled at that comment, but then this morning God really put it on my heart to press into that, along with a few other things that I will get to… So just bare with me here for a few seconds.

I just can’t help but think how freaking selfish self-help books are. What do you need help with? Blowing more bubbles up your butt and having your ego coaxed, so you can can keep lying to yourself about how great you are? Go see a therapist to have your feelings validated. I think people in this world need a little less self-help, froo, froo, please make me feel good and a little more REALITY. You want to improve your life? Read the bible. Yes I know, you don’t like that the bible speaks truth and gives you guidance for living a life filled with love, integrity and respect towards others. Yes, I know you don’t like the “rules” of the bible and think they are outdated because it’s hard and it speaks against our selfish human tendencies.  I don’t always like it either, so that makes two of us. It’s hard convicting stuff. Self-help covers up, paints roses over the real issues in your life. The bible changes it. It’s a choice that you have to make.

Speaking of choices that we all have to make. Let’s talk about another choice… love. I’m not trying to call anyone out, so I won’t say names. But I woke up to a lovely email this morning. It wasn’t necessarily a rude email, but God really spoke to me through a few comments. “Resist the urge to play God and force things because of the excitement and joy you bring to each other.” After reading this, I started praying about this comment and all these things just started spewing to my brain in response. They were actually really, really good responses so I totally knew it was of God! Anywho, the whole “playing” God comment really got to me. When I moved back to Maine I made a few promises with God. Yes, I stumbled a few times falling back into a few old patterns, habbits, ect. but ultimately God knew my heart and he was faithful. If anyone would like to call it “playing” the God card, I “play” it in every area of my life. Every decision I make, I look to him. So yes, when choosing my life partner I’m certainly going to “play” the God card and look to him. First and foremost, I want Gods plan for my life, I don’t want my own.  What God says comes before my friends, family or any worldly advice. If it’s not from him, then I won’t choose it. Period.

Now, I’ve never been married before, but I am a daughter, a sister and a friend. I do have people in my life that every single day I make an conscious and action-oriented CHOICE to love them. People, we’ve got to get this ridiculous idea out of our head that love is a feeling. Because that’s just what that is… ridiculous. My relationship with my mom does not give me this feeling of butterflies and warmth. Do I divorce her, push her to the side? No. I make a choice to love her everyday. So why with a marriage WHEN those feelings go away do we divorce? Everyday in a relationship you CHOOSE to put others before yourself. Love is not a feeling; feelings come and go, happiness comes and goes, saddness, anger, frustrations. ALL FEELINGS COME AND GO. Love is NOT a feeling. UGHHHHHHH.

So when people make comments that Ethan and I are in the gushy, mushy puppy dog stage and that we need more time. I seriously want to puke in their face. I don’t base my decisions off the feeling he gives me. Yes, that’s definitely a bonus. But I base my decisions off of the qualities he brings to the table, along with my qualities that will help us best glorify God TOGETHER. Because I “played” the God card, I have prayed for the qualities I wanted in my husband for a very long time. Those qualities are not based on looks or superficial desires. (although it’s a bonus that I truly think he’s the most attractive man I’ve ever met) What I really want is a person that will help me in my walk with God- that will pray with me WHEN (not if!!!) times get tough. As Christians we read over and over again about God and his faithfulness. So why do we second guess when he fulfills our desires? I think more people need to stop turning to others for advice, get real with God, actually listen to what he says and freaking act on it. The Trust I have in God is way above anyone’s thoughts, “feelings” or advice. Yes, some of the excitement will fade. Some days we will have the puppy dog love and some days he will make me want to gauged my eyeballs out.

Here’s an example:

Puppy dog love…

Ethan getting annoyed with me… (I’m praying he’ll have hair though) ;)

Awhile back I wrote a blog about the book, The 5 Love Languages. For those who haven’t read it, I would HIGHLY recommend it! Gary Chapman writes, “Unfortunately, the eternality of the in-love experience is fiction, not fact.” We all have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever. Well, Chapman says it best; that is clearly fiction, not fact. In this world a look can hurt and a word can crush. Lovers become enemies and marriages a battlefield. So what happens to the in-love experience? Where does the “feeling” of it all go? Well, I hate to say it… we all just have been getting really bad worldly advice on what the meaning of love is.  God gave us his definition of what love was loooong before the world did- and they don’t match up.

Chapman goes into detail about how so many times people confuse that “in-love” feeling with what love actually is. He believes that the “in-love” stage is considered to be defined as an obsession and that obsession was not meant to last forever. Love was meant to be rational, volitional and ultimately in order to experience real love you must be, intentional.  It is a choice, NOT a feeling. So, in saying that we all have the capacity to love after the “in-love” feelings have disappeared.

If more people acted on the choice to love, divorce would not be such an epidemic here in America. I look at my grandparents and how they just celebrated 50 years of marriage… I can promise you that my grandfather did not give her this overwhelming amount of joy every day of their lives. He wasn’t always a nice man to her, she didn’t always show patience. But they made a covenant- they made a commitment and they chose to put God before themselves. This life is not about fulfilling our needs. And if you think it is, you are ripping yourself off to the true joy God wants each and everyone of us to experience.

Did I offend? I hope not. But if I did… oh well. Sometimes the Truth gives you that knot at the pit of your stomach. It’s your choice to throw some roses over it, or to change it.

But I really do love you all! Have a great day :)