Y’all… I’m sitting here at work, all giddy, just beaming with the biggest grin on my face.  I seriously feel like a 16-year old school girl in love. I even have the butterfly thing going on in my tummy, its actually kind of ridiculous and slightly embarrassing to admit. I also have to bring back this picture cause it absolutely cracks me up to pieces…

So on that note here are a few of my thoughts… :)

Gods timing and the way he reveals things to us is just so CRAZY to me. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but 9 months ago I received prayer in Charleston that has literally just stumped me- I think about it all the time. 3 women who had never met me before, wrote on note cards what they felt God wanted to tell me. Honestly, until now I really didn’t understand it all. I don’t know why, but all of the sudden a light bulb is going off in my head and it ALL MAKES TOTAL SENSE.

I’m seriously giggling at myself, because I really do feel like I totally missed the mark on this whole loving Jesus thing. For so long I was going through this warfare. I was trying so hard to protect myself and God has been trying to tell me to use this- use it to press into that level of intimacy with him- to just TRUST him and he will fight those battles for me. He is the place of refuge and protection- not the walls that I built.

Being intimate with God is probably the weirdest concept to me because I think we all tend to think of intimacy in a very worldly way. We think of it as that physical touch or act. But the real meaning can be summed up as enduring behavioral interdependence, repeated interactions, emotional attachment, and need-fulfillment. This is what God craves from each of us, and this is certainly where our fulfillment and sense of purpose in this life come from. Apart from God we simply will never feel whole- it’s an emotional attachment that will bring you to an overwhelming joy and sense of worthiness.

I’ve always thought of loving Jesus in this structured way. You set aside time daily for your reading and prayer. Church is structured, bible studies are structured, worship is structured. But God is not structure. God is freedom, God is love; he breaks chains, opens hearts and he fills us with self-worth & humility. I’ve finally realized that reaching that level of intimacy means putting worship at the center of every single daily activity, even the small minuscule things. It is certainly NOT a once a day, set time. This is the only way to truly surrender it all. This is the only way to clearly hear Gods voice- to be obedient. Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?! This is the most amazing feeling ever.

The thing that God wants the most from us to is be friends. Sounds weird, yet so true. He wants a real, deep relationship… the kind of relationship we want with our friends and family. He wants us to get frustrated with him, to cry with him, laugh, even yell. He wants to be included in every thought, every emotion, every action. He does not want us to come to him in a fake, neat and clean way and he certainly can tell if we are trying to portray something to him that is not true. Being intimate takes work, just like any relationship. Seriously, I say this again, why didn’t anyone ever tell me this?!? I accepted Christ into my life 2 years ago and I’m just now realizing that I am his bride. He has dressed me up in pearls, rolled out the red carpet for me and I am HIS workmanship. HE is my IDENTITY. NOT my education, NOT my job, NOT the car that I drive, NOT the clothes that I wear, NOT the negative, discouraging thoughts that Satan plants in my mind. We were made for God, we are what HE says about us.

Wow, I’ve heard this so many times, why am I just now connecting the dots? In HIS time, I guess. But really, I’m not lying when I tell y’all that I literally just figured this out like a week ago- actually it was when I finally spilled my guts in that I still believe blog. I feel like God has lit a fire under my butt and he is going crazy working in my life.

Since I’ve been back in Maine I’ve just felt this tug at my heart saying that Farmington was not where I’m supposed to be. But the worldly, fleshly part of me was saying, Chrissy you are so close, just finish it out. I was not trusting God that he has bigger and better plans for my life, but listening to myself. There have been so many times in the past that I would get these intuitions of what I should be doing, or those “gut feelings.” But because I was not in an intimate relationship with God, I didn’t realize that was the Holy Spirit guiding me. So now, I trust with my whole heart that he will take care of me and I have to not only listen, but obey. I’m taking that first leap and letting him have control. I truly believe with my entire heart he will take me places I never thought I could ever go.

Okay- so here’s the deal and the point of this blog… I put my entire apartment into storage before moving to Charleston and it has been there for 2 years. I really feel like God is telling me to give it all away. In saying that I have no idea who to give it to! So, I’m trusting that God will lead someone to this blog who really needs furniture, pots, pans, sewing machine, vacuum cleaner, ect. So PLEASE get at me if you need stuff! My goal is to have everything gone by the end of January.

God is so good! Life is so good and I am so thankful for ALL the wonderful new friends in my life! I am so blessed.

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