Okay- So I really thought that by starting classes back up this week, it would lead to the end of blogging for me. Thankfully I have found some spare time! I guess I really shouldn’t speak too soon, because it really is only the second week of being back in school!

Anywho, in my human sexuality class we’re reading a book called, The 5 Love Languages by, Gary Chapman. It’s supposed to tell us the secret to love that lasts! I was thinking oh, goody… I really need to know this because clearly I’m struggling with that! Actually I’m kidding; quite the opposite thought was going through my head. At first, I’ll admit I was kind of rolling my eyes at it. I was thinking that unless there’s a Christian perspective in his views, I really could care less about hearing about this guy’s secret recipe to lasting love.

However, God really started changing my heart after reading the first few chapters. I started thinking that this guy really hit the nail right on the head! Chapman writes, “Unfortunately, the eternality of the in-love experience is fiction, not fact.” We all have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever. Well, Chapman says it best; that is clearly fiction, not fact. In this world a look can hurt and a word can crush. Lovers become enemies and marriages a battlefield. So what happens to the in-love experience? Where does the “feeling” of it all go? Well, I hate to say it… we all just have been getting really bad worldly advice on what the meaning of love is.  God gave us his definition of what love was loooong before the world did- and they don’t match up.

Chapman goes into detail about how so many times people confuse that “in-love” feeling with what love actually is. He believes that the “in-love” stage is considered to be defined as an obsession and that obsession was not meant to last forever. Love was meant to be rational, volitional and ultimately in order to experience real love you must be, intentional.  It is a choice, NOT a feeling. So, in saying that we all have the capacity to love after the “in-love” feelings have disappeared.

This book really sparked an interest to me, because I was really able to relate it to my own relationship with God. I think when most people think of love, we think of it as a feeling. This all seems so logical and simple to understand that love is so much more- it really is a no-brainer.  But, in reality don’t we all hold people to standards that just can’t and will not ever be met? I know I definitely do that; with my mother, sister, ex-boyfriends, friends. Of course I want that “feeling” of love when I’m around the people I care about. Who doesn’t?

Gosh, when I think about how many times I felt like God wasn’t there, or wasn’t working in my life because I didn’t have that “feeling.” Proverbs 3:5 says, Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  So what is our “understanding” of love?

I remember being completely mesmerized by my first boyfriend. Just thinking about him gave me butterflies. I was sixteen and seriously thought I had found, “the one.” However, as time went on those euphoric feelings faded and as those feelings faded, I also thought the love was fading. Like many, my perception of love was totally based on a feeling. God’s love does not fade- and is certainly NOT a feeling. As humans we put so much trust into our emotions. I’m happy and it feels good- so it must be right. When in reality more often times than not we completely miss the mark because we are so wrapped up in that feeling.

I remember awhile back writing a blog on discouragement and how one thing I’ve learned is that God wants us to trust His Word more than we trust our feelings, more than we trust how things appear. God’s Word is truer than anything I may think, anything I feel. And certainly truer than how things appear. This is something that I have to continuously remind myself. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says “…we are taking every thought captive according to the obedience of Christ.” This means trusting His word more than emotions and feelings.

God has made me an extremely passionate person. However, because of that I experience amazing “highs.” He has given me the gift of really allowing me to “feel” extremely close and connected to him at times, but also with those highs come devastating lows. One thing I always have to remind myself is that it is a totally normal experience. BUT, that feeling has nothing to do with love that God has for us. God will lift me up and Satan will try to bring me down. This is when God’s word is so powerful and amazing. The bible is his living and breathing word to us. He uses this to remind us throughout the changes in our emotions from day-to-day, even hour-to-hour… his love is more than a feeling. It’s intentional and will always remain.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.