Welp, it’s official! Our home is up For Sale By Owner. I write this post pretty reluctantly, as I’ve been wanting to keep this decision private. Most of our close friends and family know, but this decision did not come lightly and I’ve lived in fear of hurt feelings that others might have, having to answer questions, and to be honest a bit of embarrassment.
I guess, I really don’t even know where to start– With our move to Charlotte? The reason behind the move? What God has been showing
me us? They all tie in together. Before I purge out all of my feelings, I just have to preface by saying we had no idea we would be selling our home so quickly. Not at all. In fact, I was pretty darn excited to finally stay in one place.
When we first made the decision to buy a home, we prayed and really felt like God wanted us to plant roots here in Charlotte. To this day, I still question whether or not the purchase of a home was supposed to happen– did we just fail to really listen to God? Or, was this exactly what we were supposed to do? I am so thankful that no matter which thing was considered “the right thing” out of all of those options, it just doesn’t phase God. He always seems to gently place us back on our proper path.
So here’s the short version of our story…
In May, we went back to Maine for a very short visit. We were supposed to close on our home weeks prior, and we were staying with some very generous friends. Closing was taking forever, and it just kept getting pushed back. When we went back to Maine, we thought we were still weeks out. God had been bringing up some stuff throughout the process, and we began to question where we were supposed to be. Ethan’s previous job also offered him a very generous salary and a better position than he had before. So, we spent what seemed like forever, (but was actually only a few days) confused, in prayer and really seeking God. The next day we received a phone call saying our house was ready to close, and we had to be back the next day.
We were in quite the pickle. We had to figure out what the heck was going on, and fast.. should we buy the home? Should we let the people down who were depending on the income of the sale, and the current homeowners who thought the sale of their home was in the bag? And was it even right to go back to Maine just for more income? That didn’t seem like the “Kingdom” thing to do– to make a decision off income. So we chose, the home.
I guess I also have to add that, from the beginning of our marriage there’s really only one thing I’ve wanted; a home. I like to nest, I’m an introverted homebody, who probably could be by myself the majority of days if I didn’t have the very much needed friends to pull me outside into the world. And I grew up moving, A LOT. I think I just always had it in my head that if we owned a home, I would have security, stability, and feel like that is where I’m supposed to be.
I was wrong.
About a few weeks into being homeowners, the newness of course wore off. I actually got really depressed. I was crying all the time. I felt stuck. I felt clausterphobic… And I couldn’t run. At first I thought, “Okay, God. You want me to work through this feeling.” Which he of course did, but as I really began to seek what was actually behind the feelings, I realized it wasn’t about being stuck at all. It was about trust. We moved away from Maine for three main… ha, Maine and main (okay, I’m a dork) Anywho, for three main reasons; The first, I can’t share, it’s something just between Ethan and I. The second, we obviously felt like that was what God was doing in our lives and where he was leading us… But, the third reason just seems so silly looking back. It really shouldn’t have even played a part in our decision to move… We didn’t think we could afford to live in Maine.
We didn’t think we could afford a home, or the heating, and houses and taxes were too high. Truly, I don’t even know why I didn’t trust God’s provision to someday get us there. When we first were married Ethan made $11.50 an hour and I was a full-time student… then I got pregnant. God was so faithful to us and he continued to bless Ethan with different opportunities so I could do the one thing I’ve always wanted to be; a stay at home mama. And so, once I got to the root of the issue, I knew where it was leading. We began to pray on what God wanted us to do. We were homeowners, we lived in North Carolina. We were NEWLY, one-month in homeowners. We couldn’t sell our home this soon, we would loose money. As we continued to seek God, we began to get Words from people who had no idea the decisions we were trying to make. They all led in one direction– Maine.
Once we made the decision, we began getting to work. Hardwood floors replaced the carpet, the kitchen cabinets were refaced and fresh paint in pretty much every room. We did everything ourselves, because we refuse(d) to loose money on this home.
I wish I could write down every little detail, because there is so so so much more to why were a moving back to Maine. All I know for certain is, we’ve learned so much through this process. Like I said earlier, I don’t know if buying the home was wrong or right. At the time we felt like it was God. I think I would have always wondered. I would have morned for the home I thought I could see Noah growing up in, the door that I would hang my diy wreath on, and the backyard that we would spend nights having bonfires and friends over. What I’ve learned is that, sometimes God really does give us over to our desires. And by doing so, sometimes he teaches us that they are really not our desires. Isn’t it funny how often Proverbs 16:9 gets read, but not really taken to heart. “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”
In this process we’ve learned so many lessons and I’m so thankful for each one. I’m thankful to tuck this lesson into my pocket and remember it when I whine to God about what I think will be good for me. I know we will be homeowners again… someday. But, when we go back to Maine we are perfectly content with renting. God has been growing our hearts for Maine through this process. We are so excited for a renewed sight and love towards our home state. What can we say, we are Maniacs. hah!
So friends, if you could pray for us that would be wonderful! Our home is now listed and we are selling it ourselves. Please pray for a smooth, quick process! Love to you all!